How to find the right spouse

and helpful marriage advice

Hello my friend,

How are you doing?

Since my anniversary post, I have gotten so many questions about how to find or identify the right partner and resources that helped me prepare for marriage.

While I have been replying as much as I can, I remembered that I once made an Instagram post on this 3 years ago. I am tagging it below, as I believe it is still very insightful.

“My most asked question as a young married woman is:

What helped you prepare for marriage and how did you know that He was the one?

While growing up, I didn’t think I would get married early. I don’t know why. I just didn’t think I would. So I was just focusing on building my life and being the woman God was raising me to be per time.

It was when I turned 20 that I knew that I would get married at 21, so I quickly read a few books on marriage:
1. Things I wish I knew before I got married by Gary Chapman.
2. The Lady, Her Lord, and Her Lover by Bishop TD Jakes.
3. 1 John and 2 John – The Bible.

However, from the beginning, God already knew that I would get married at 21, so He set everything in stone to raise me to be the woman and wife He wants me to be.

I met my mentor (who is twice my age and has been married for over 15 years) when I was just 19 years old. Watching her manage her home and raise a godly family served as a learning phase for me. I learned more from this experience than from any marriage book I ever read.

I am sharing this to encourage you to embrace your process and not worry about your future—how you’ll be the woman, wife, or parent God wants you to be, especially if you’re a young person like me.

God holds the curriculum for your life, and per time, He is raising you based on the future that He holds. And as long as you are following His leading per time, you’ll be fine.

Before I met my husband, my only focus was on becoming the woman God was raising me to be, and it was in that process of becoming and submitting to capacity building that I met my husband.

I didn’t read so many materials on marriage, but as I developed myself based on God’s curriculum, God prepared me to be a valuable wife. And as I followed His leading per time, I met my husband.

One thing I have learned as a married woman is that if every single person would just focus on becoming who God has called him/her to be, then they would be the valuable wife/husband and even parent that God wants them to be.

And how will you know that He’s the one?

The same God who has prepared you for that future will tell you"

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Even three years later, I still believe this so deeply:

If you want to find the right partner, follow God’s leading.
If you want to be prepared for marriage, do what God tells you to do per time.

After I graduated from college, I lived alone for three years before getting married.

During those three years, God gave me one clear instruction: build consistency in your walk with Me.

So every day at 6 a.m., I would wake up, pray, take my confessions, study my Bible, and do a short exercise before heading to work. I did this every single day— morning and night, irrespective of how I felt.

God was teaching me the power of daily personal devotion and how refreshing it is to spend time with Him before running into my day. If I hadn’t built that consistency then, it would have been so much harder to build it now as a married woman with two kids.

He was also teaching me the importance of a good daily routine—how it can stabilize your life and help you cut out chaos and stress.

Now, I am glad I obeyed that instruction, because the older you get, the busier life becomes. A consistent walk with God and a simple routine can refresh and anchor you no matter what’s happening around you.

There’s no one book, podcast, or “perfect list of resources” that fits all. But there is God—who knows all things and can lead you into the future He has already prepared for you.

His curriculum is very personalized and contextual—tailored to the life He’s calling you to live and the future that He has prepared for you.

As I watch my first daughter grow, I understand why God taught me certain things back then. I need to pass them down—because she will need them.

So trust God. Follow Him. That is the only path to getting it right in marriage—and in life.

If you’re unsure of how to hear God, feel free to leave a comment or message me privately. I’ll respond as soon as I can.

I hope this is helpful.

I'll see you next time. 
Till then, stay fabulous. 

With Love, 
Aramide.